theatreizlove

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Cassie's Diary by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

Cassie's Diary

Have you ever woken up and wondered if everything in your life is real? If all the people around you are just pretending, that they don't really love you? That today could be the day when they all leave you? Today is just one more day delaying your inevitable death, by your own hand or by some natural force. Today will only make you one day closer to your imminent doom. And you're completely helpless to stop it. Do you ever feel like that? Well, I do. Everyday, these are the first thoughts to run through my head. My name is Cassie Sanders, and I have Borderline Personality Disorder. This is my diary. 1/8-Monday I always knew there was som

Run. by theatreizlove, literature

Airports. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

Airports.

There's something sad about airports. Leaving. Going places. All the people. Whenever I travel alone, as I have for the past year and a half, I've noticed I'm still treated with kiddie gloves. The workers smile at me the way they don't smile at adults. They call me "sweetie" or "hun" and tell me to have a good day. I'm 19 years old. By all rights, I should be an adult. But I'm not. I'm a child. A small, scared little girl. A girl who doesn't belong in the adult world of airports, of jobs, of being lonely. A girl that still cries when she's left alone, that's scared one day everyone will leave her. Just like a child who worries on

Envy. by theatreizlove, literature

Naive. by theatreizlove, literature

Best Friends? by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

Best Friends?

Devoted friendship. Love and respect, laughter and devotion. What did I get in return? Bits and scraps. A laugh here and there, a nice comment. I tried to convince myself for too long that we had everything the title implied. Best Friends. Forever. The old ladies in wheelchairs chasing each other around the nursing home. But even after all that, you left me. I would still be following you around. And you know what? It hurt. Because even though I know all the stuff that was messed up about our friendship, I loved you. And i was willing to make it work. But you weren't. And i guess that's where it all fell apart.

I'm Already Gone. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

I'm Already Gone.

I don't want to be known as the girl with the vacant look in her eyes The girl that checked out on life long ago And is now just going through the motions Wandering aimlessly, no purpose in sight You can't even get her attention, shes not there Might as well slap a for rent sticker on her forehead Nobody's been home for a long time.

You don't know. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

You don't know.

You don't know me. You may think you do. I'm the girl who doesn't care what anyone thinks, who's her own person. Wrong. I'm the girl who's so caught up in what other people think of me that I have to come off as not caring what other people think of me. I'm not crazy. I'm not loud. I'm quiet. I'm sensitive and touchy. I'm the quiet girl who screams in mourning as her best friend is lowered into the ground. Because she can't stop it. Because she can't stop her from shoveling dirt on top of herself and suffocating. She just sits there. and screams.

Tonight. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

Tonight.

The sky looked like a crayon tonight. As stupid as it sounds, that was my first thought. A deep, midnight blue that can only be found in a crayola box. There can be something magical about the night. Me and the boy ventured out tonight. We sat on top of the walls of the bridge over the lake I walked across the top. He wouldn't follow. You can't see many stars here Still more than at home. The campus was lit up quite magically It always is at night. I could here birds chirping as if it was morning regardless of the fact that it was 1 am. I guess they were confused. They wouldn't be the only one. We moved to the fountain Which

don't even bother. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

don't even bother.

This isn't me writing. This is me bitching about my issues because I have no where else to post them without people I know seeing. I hate that you're going through this. I hate that it's my fault. I hate that you actually got an anorexia diagnosis when I'm stuck here with stupid ednos. Fucking ednos. Nobody cares cause I'm not starving myself to death. I can bring it up in conversation. "I have an eating disorder. I starve for a few days then eat snacks." And they just say, "oh" like it's just a weird habit I have, nothing major, not like it's the thing that tortures me day and night, fat thoughts and insecure jabs. IYou were already st

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Cassie's Diary by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

Cassie's Diary

Run. by theatreizlove, literature

Airports. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

Airports.

Envy. by theatreizlove, literature

Naive. by theatreizlove, literature

Best Friends? by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

Best Friends?

I'm Already Gone. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

I'm Already Gone.

You don't know. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

You don't know.

Tonight. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

Tonight.

don't even bother. by theatreizlove, literature

Literature

don't even bother.

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Defeated by innocentwish, literature

Literature

Defeated

Why do I feel so defeated? Did I not gain victory in my life? I have found contentment with friends and family. I have found peace with my God. I devote my time to my studies properly. I do as I am asked. I have begun to work to love as I should. Why does my mind long for endless sleep? Why do my arms long for a shadow I cannot touch? I go chasing a starlight ghost with passion, A heart bleeds for lover I have never known, A fever that once was cool turns in my soul. It is all stirring again and again. A starlight ghost which follows my every step. He's always behind me. What does this shade want from me? Why does it awaken my

About theatreizlove

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Mar 26
United States
Deviant for 13 years
donttdosadness.tumblr.com
She / Her

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My Bio

Hi there. I'm Rachel. I'm a college freshman who is crazy in love with God and crazy about theatre. I can't draw or do most kinds of art to save my life, so here I'm going to be posting some of my writings in an effort to actually write more- let me explain.
I write constantly. I narrate my life in my head, letting prose and verse flow free. It's how I think. Sometimes they end up as stories, other times just collections of emotion and feeling. I've been doing it as long as I can remember, mentally writing a story to tell to somebody someday. I rarely get around to actually writing it down, because whenever I try to it's never as good as it is in my head. This is an effort to actually take more time to write down my narratives as well as my thoughts, and see where they take me.

Current Residence: Virginia Beach
Favourite genre of music: Broadway
Operating System: Mac
Favourite cartoon character: Perry The Platypus
Personal Quote: Far better to fail at building a magnificent world than to succeed at monochromatic survival.

Favourite Visual Artist

Darren Criss

Favourite Movies

Inception

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

All Time Low

Tools of the Trade

my keyboard.

Other Interests

Theatre

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theatreizlove

Feb 10, 2011

Hello Deviant Art!

0 min read

I'm just going to use this to post some of my more narrative style writings. Right now I'm probably just going to be going through my livejournal and posting some old things before I start some new ones. So take a look around, and enjoy!